Attraction Marketing - the Law of Attraction in Action

I can’t really believe it’s been almost a month since my last post! No excuses but here’s what’s been happening: I’ve spent many years doing what I recognize allows positive change to happen. I work on healing the past, changing my beliefs and doing inspired action (inspired because now my inner energy field is free to attract what I want). And boy! Am I attracting!

In the last month I’ve gotten 3 new clients and attracted a really big, wonderful business opportunity that makes use of my gifts and gets me really excited.

For ages I’ve  working to clear whatever my blocks are to abundance. Also I’ve been coaching my clients to do the same.

Can it be so easy? Why doesn’t it always work? My experience is that most people are afraid to deal with the emotional part and so those hurts from the past must keep them bound to continue to create the same thing over and over.

It’s not a very black and white, this is exactly how you do it kind of thing. But I do know it takes healing, changing beliefs and then comes the inspired action. Oh, what is my inspired action? Well, because I know that my marketing efforts work best when people get to know me, I am creating ways for that to happen.

I have two websites that are written by me and let people know me; I created a local networking group recently that focuses on getting to know each other on a more intimate level than most groups allow and I have put myself a few social networking sites.

Sometimes it isn’t even that what I do works directly but somehow I attract people anyway.

www.whataboutlifecoaching.com

www.ThePumpkinCoach.com 

How do therapists feel about Life Coaches?

I haven’t really asked any therapists how they feel about Life Coaches but I’ve felt some things from some.My first experience with a therapist about Coaches was with my first Coach who had been a therapist for 15 years. I don’t know if she ever told me what prompted her to change hats but certainly she had no “issues” around Coaches. The issue I’m referring to is the one that feels something like “I went to a zillion years of school, spent 3000 hours being supervised and you just call yourself a Life Coach and hang out your sign. It feels like you are stepping on my toes.” And I don’t blame any therapist who feels that way. If I had done what they had done, I’d probably feel the same way or at least have to reign in my judgments very tightly not to feel that way.

And what’s the difference between a therapist and a Life Coach anyway? Well, I can only speak for me but I’d say therapy is often about working to heal past trauma by going into it deeply. The results of therapy are often and hopefully profound.

Now often Life Coaching has similar results but is most often based more on doing things - like changing careers or improving your relationships or improving your work performance. The results of any improvement are therapeutic to your self-esteem.

I will say this. If you came to me for Coaching and wanted (or needed) therapy, I’d know it - and hopefully would be able to support you in knowing it too.

To be able to expand on this topic, it would be helpful if you posted questions.

www.WhatAboutLifeCoaching.com

I don’t like and I can’t change it. Now what?

So what happens if you or a client is stuck in a job or some other situation that they can’t see a way of changing right away and it’s hard or boring or annoying or some other not enjoyable feeling?Sometimes on no-work mornings my husband asks me to put on my Coach’s hat and help him through a situation as I would a client. So this morning over coffee he reiterated his situation: he teaches high school and this semester he has not had much success in the teaching material department. Usually, although his population of kids are inner city bi-lingual and not up to where we’d like to see them in high school, he has successes all through the semester to give him (and his ego) happiness at his achievements as a teacher. This semester it just isn’t happening that way and as a result, he’s not been having a very enjoyable time.

What’s the Coach to suggest? (Of course this little article will take you a minute to read and the “Coaching session” took an hour, so don’t get the impression that I get asked a question and then just jump to an answer. Then I’d be the “answer woman” not the Coach.) It came down to two main things:

1. He has something very special to offer the kids whether they are learning the material or not. And that is he respects them and they are not usually treated that way. That impression that he makes on them will follow them throughout their life whereas Physics probably won’t.
2. He has to be the parent or whoever is in charge of keeping his ego satisfied. It wants to see outer success. So he needs to keep telling it that it is succeeding by looking at the impact he’s had on other kids and feeding his ego the facts it wants to justify its existence and desire to protect him.

How can these two tips be applied to you or anyone you are coaching when they are enjoying a certain situation?

1. Find the purpose within your life of the situation.
2. Stay in charge of your ego and give it what it needs.

www.whataboutlifecoaching.com

The First Requirement of a Life Coach

When I was told that the first requirement for a Life Coach is to keep on growing, I was totally sold on the idea of me being a Life Coach for the rest of my life. I consciously adopted the idea of growing about 28 years ago. Before that I was unconsciously searching for the idea. I joined a spiritual group; I went to a 24-hour encounter group with my ex-husband; I went to a 12-Step group to lose weight and I went to Marriage Encounter with my ex-husband. But I didn’t know what I was searching for and so it was hard to find.I had a spiritual awakening when I realized that I had to leave my marriage. I walked out on the ledge of uncertainty and ran away with my four kids and no job. That was my moment! And I learned from then on that what I was looking for was uncovering the being I came here to earth to be.

I’ve had other addictions before - ones that made me high or fat - but this is a most positive one! I am addicted to uncovering my inner essence - and that is what I convey to my clients.

If this makes sense to you, it is likely that Life Coaching in some form is for you too. If it doesn’t, thanks for reading.

 

More Will They Call?

I’m so glad I have a male in my life to remind me of the male way of doing things - or at least another way of doing things.About a week ago I had an email interaction with a man who said quite clearly that he wanted to hire me to be his coach. A couple of fruitful emails went back and forth over the day. And then nothing. As you saw in the previous entry, I’m better about accepting the situation but because his comments were so clearly wanting me as his coach, I didn’t know what to do. What if he didn’t read his email? What if something was wrong in his family?

Fortunately before I formulated a full thought about taking a further action like calling him (we’ve never spoken on the phone - only in person once and email) I asked my husband what to do. He said, “He knows you’re there.”

“Well, Maia, of course he does”, I told myself. And it felt so relieving to leave it alone. And the next day I heard from him and he wrote he had to think about it all.

I know not all women act intuitively and quickly but I tend to. Nice to be reminded everyone isn’t like me.

wwwWhatAboutLifeCoaching.com

 

Will They Call?

Just want to say a word about my journey when it comes to wondering if someone will actually call to become my client when they say they are going to.

I used to fret and worry and take their calling or not very personally. I was sure it was a rejection of me. My mind got very loud and plugged into old self-esteem issues.

It’s better now. I do know what I give my clients and what benefits they gain. My mind tries to go there, like a tongue with a space where a tooth used to be but it’s little and light compared to the past.

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The Joys of Coaching and Giving Backbone

One of my clients just retired after almost 5 decades of working for someone else. Her goal and why we started our coaching relationship was to retire and start a coaching practice. She has done both. She is also finding the results of years of hiding her light and working in an academic environment where she only has a Masters degree and everyone else had a Ph.D. It was the perfect place and situation for her to hide.

But her spirit is calling her to rid herself of that limitation so now she has a minister who she’s been in training under who is unconsciously trying to do the same thing. She called her, met with her and made it know that she expects her to be pretty much totally available at the church and the minister’s beck and call because “now you have the time now that you are retired”.

My client realized when she woke up the next morning what had occurred and what she needed and for the FIRST TIME IN THE 17 MONTHS WE’VE BEEN WORKING TOGETHER, ASKED TO HAVE HER APPT. EARLIER IN THE WEEK IF I COULD DO IT. That is such great news because it was her asking to have her needs fulfilled and not making do - as she is wont to do.

We spoke and asked her questions like: “What do you want to/really love to do at the church at this time?” pretty much over and over until she came up with her list and will get back to the minister with “what I am willing to do for you and the church” rather than “what you automatically expect me to do and I’ll make fine with me.”

Somewhere the words that probably my mother gave me seemed to want to come out to her. “We gave you your backbone today.”

I got a great little email after our call saying: “Thanks for the call - it helped tremendously.

This line was in a local advice column today:

“…people who don’t assert themselves are essentially agreeing to live life on the terms of those around them who do.”

And that about sums it up for me, as I see it. While I know this, sometimes I slip into what is easiest, and it is more comfortable to avoid confrontation, but then I don’t really get to live the life I want to live. And to use the other analogy from the piece I read you earlier, I am the one letting the fuel leak out (of my enthusiasm).”

I love coaching!

How Much Agenda Do Coaches Have Anyway?

Just before I went to sleep the other night, I realized I wanted to write about a Coach’s agenda so I wrote a note on the pad I keep by my bed. Then yesterday as I was running around town doing errands, a car pulled in front of me and it’s license plate was: NOAGNDA. Too synchronistic to ignore.

When I went to Coaches’ training, I was told that an excellent Life Coach would have no agenda. That is probably true in a perfect world. It is also true that human beings are almost not capable of having no agenda while loving. That means we have no expectations of our clients. And that isn’t true.

We expect them to:

• call in on time
• pay us in a timely manner
• bring their issues and accomplishments to the call
• have a quiet space in which to have our meeting
• have done their assignments or bring up what stopped them
• share their failures
• share their successes

So, of course, we have agendas for our clients. But maybe they were only talking about personal agendas like “I think you should be a Motivational Coach” or a “leader of industry” or a “better employee” or …

Should is the scary word here. It is not our job as Coaches to should anyone into anything. Everyone has had enough of that in their lives from parents and teachers and well-meaning others.

So NOAGNDA is an ideal to be striven for. It requires the Coach to be more and more aware of their own process and the words and feeling behind the words as they speak to their client. I often hear myself saying things like, “I’m not necessarily right”; “uou know if this is true better than I can”; only you live inside you” and things like that to ensure that the power remains where I always say it is, in the coaching relationship we have. Not in me.

Will I Ever Remember?

In a social networking environment online, I met another coach. Her work is completely different than mine. She helps people who are reluctant to network and sell. Well, we were chatting on the phone and learning what we each do and thinking about how we could help each other when I got an idea. We could coach each other. She needs help with her relationship with an in-law and I had not been able to come up with a way to network in person locally that worked for me. I was in the financial services business in the past and found the cold-calling part highly uncomfortable. More recently I have attended local networking groups andhave found them either uncomfortable or unfruitful.The other coach, P-, has a very challenging relationship with her daughter-in-law. It was a great idea to help each other out.What didn’t work about it was that I again forgot that we needed to take our time and get to know each other and follow what I know works when coaching someone on deep issues.

Turns out P- gave me a brilliant idea to start my own networking group via meetup.com and I have and the first meeting is next week and it seems that it has gone over very will from the people who’ve joined and are going to attend. So basically my issue appears to be solved. But hers is bigger and will likely take her longer to master.

In an unconscious attempt at trying to help her quickly so our situations wouldn’t feel so out of balance, I hurried my process which often includes telling stories of examples of how things worked for me or others - as a teaching tool. But I swamped her with stories in a short period of time. Fortunately, we both realized this error and have come up with a possible solution. We are both comfortable with open, clean communication (a sign of a highly functioning coach), so I have no doubt this will work out fine.

I commit to remember that what works and can’t be pushed or pulled for a friend or another coach or anyone. That doesn’t mean there isn’t flexibility but rather all the parts need to happen to honor each person’s special situation.
whataboutlifecoaching.com

the-pumpkin-coach.com

Be Careful What You Ask For

Remember that old saying “be careful what you pray for”? It has meaning in the context of attracting what you are focusing on and I have been focusing on not being too effected by those around me - not taking too much responsibility for family members, friends and even clients.

So I have living with me someone I am not related to for the first time in my life. It’s my step-daughter. Although I know her for 23 years, there has been times when I had little contact. Anyway, I love her. I want to give her an opportunity to make the changes she’s want in her life but she is some homework for me!She’s often pretty caustic and bitter and uncommunicative. I feel these things and they affect me. I’m working on having the internal boundaries to unplug. Don’t really know how to do that very well yet. I’ve written her a Love Letter. She doesn’t know that nor does she need to I wrote it but it did help me get centered. Maybe that’s all that it’ll take.Any ideas?

Coaching from the Inside